A friend of mine and I went to a concert the other night and some guys came over to ask us to dance and the normal "bar" thing - we politely declined and went about talking, but he ask me a question that I felt very odd about - "where are you from?" as stupid as that sounds I wasn't sure at first what to say so I laughed and said "Burk". I didn't move a lot like military kids or anything growing up - I was born in Lawton,OK and spent 4 years there until moving to Arlington, lived there until I was 14 and moved to Wichita Falls. I was raised in Arlington - hell I moved out on my own when I was 16 so I only spent 2 years @ "home" in WF and then moved around more than a traveling gypsy -- today Megargel is home . . .when I came here in 2002 I damn sure never expected it to be. For the most part I love it here. . .and a part of me misses that convenient life where you live 15 minutes from everything like it was in Arlington. Scott and I talked about moving to Dallas one time and I thought about it long and hard before I kicked it off the "to do list".
We have moved and traveled so much in the past 6 years that it shocked me that we lived in our first house here in town over a year - we've never lived one place that long. Now, we have bought a home here, and become "official adults" and own our home (no mortgage or loans, we own the damn thing). I'm not sure how I feel about that either.
Right now, my kids want to be here, and this is where we are. We didn't buy this house because Megargel is where WE wanted to be, we bought it because that's where THEY wanted to be, and they are safe here. They play in the streets alone - and I don't have to worry about them because I know they are okay, it's Megargel, strangers dont frequent here and the kids know just about everyone in town. Then, I see some of the kids around town (well they were kids when I moved here 9 years ago) and it seems like most of them are stuck here for one reason or another and I DON'T want THAT for my kids. Everyone they care about is here - Grandma/PawPaw - Neene/PawPaw - and sometimes I even forget that I am not "from here".
The drugs are here, and I know they are everywhere, but here it is no secret - friends come up from Dallas and even down from Wichita Falls and freak out because we have limited police here - and that scares me - I'm no saint, and my kids will know that - I've done all the bad shit I'm worried about them doing. I don't want them to be drunks, let alone dope heads like I was...I'm not okay with that...and I'm not sure how to stop that exactly?
All of that is a long time from now, I know, hell the world may end before my kids are ever grown and sometimes I pray that happens too. Had I known then what I know now, I might not have even had kids with the jacked up way the world is now - hell maybe its always been this way, and I just didn't know cus I was a kid - but I'm scared for them. I love them, and want the best for them - but I want them to always know where HOME is...and for me today - home is for sure where the heart is -- and my heart is in multiple places -- IN THE TINY BACKWOODS TOWN OF MEGARGEL,TX
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