Things have been so chaotic this summer that I haven’t truly got to enjoy the season - my favorite season - and because of the lovely drought that Texas is going through, my favorite holiday has been pushed to the back burner like it doesn’t even exist this year. The Fourth of July is not just a day to “blow stuff up” it’s the day we are all suppose to come together and celebrate where we live and that we are FREE! Not this year, since there are no fireworks, there are no community activates, everything has been moved to September and that really chaps my ass. The Fourth isn’t JUST fireworks - but I guess I’m an old fogie for thinking that the celebrations of the season are not totally commercialized L So, I guess I will have to sit down this year and explain to my children just what Independence Day is really about - do some mild research with the older boys and show them what this holiday is SUPPOSE to be about.
I thought that last summer was strange - my parents, brother and his family had just moved back to Texas and were ALL (minus my brother) residing with Scott and I - so we were living in an all new, every changing environment - with 7 children and 5 adults in one house any and everything is subject to change at any given time! But I was excited to have my family back close so it was an eventful, lovely time even in the midst of all the chaos -- this summer…is pretty dull and just blah for me really and I am not sure what’s up with that. I love summer, love the lake, pool, heat, sprinklers, water fights etc -- its been so blazing hot here that I think about relocating to Alaska on an hourly basis!
I think it’s just a combination of everything. I spent most of the last year working - and now have becoming unemployed until I finish college - I feel like while I was working I lost my “groove” on being a Mom. I feel like my house is never clean enough, like I don’t spend enough 1 on 1 time with my children then when I do I feel like I am neglecting my husband. I also didn’t know going into this summer that I was going to be the family nanny. Monday - Friday I have a minimum of 4 children and most of the time 5 - one of the boys is usually off either at Grandma’s or MawMaws. Heather usually takes my kids on Friday nights and brings them back sometimes Saturday and drops hers off with mine - and picks them up sometime late Sunday evening about 8ish. Which means that 7 days a week I have her children. Everyday of the week her 2 are here and it makes me very edgy. I started school this summer because I thought it was going to be simple with Scott being home - it is, until you throw an entire mess of children at me and expect me to be able to study, clean and what not at the same time. I haven’t found a groove for school yet, and I don’t think I will until summer is over and school has started for the kids. I have NEVER put my kids in head start - and really thought I wanted to - but with Tegans lack of wanting to be potty trained now (this is a new development, we were doing so well … but he refuses to POOP in the potty!) I don’t think he will be ready for Head Start even though he qualifies because of his feet and our current financial situation. I guess it’s just my sign for God that Tegan isn’t any different than the other 3 and doesn’t need 3 schooling. Though it would give me devoted school work time…but with the other 3 being gone all day @ school I will have time (I pray) to get my schooling completed while they are at school and only have to work on it minimally after they go to bed at night.
I know that God has a hand in all this and that his plan for me is far greater than any plan I could set for myself - and I am willing to be willing to do whatever J My family is still the most important thing in the world to me, and I know the kids don’t understand it now, but they will when they are older that EVERYTHING I DID/DO IN LIFE - I DID FOR THEM AND THINKING OF THEM BEFORE MYSELF.
(this picture shows the coolest thing I have been apart of this summer - I love this group of girls...lots, they are my SISTERS :)